i think i have pretty severe executive dysfunction. i need a job and i can't get myself to apply i need to fill out forms and i can't get ymself to do it i have so much i need to do and the more there is the worse i get. but even when things do not pile up i still get worse. i always imagine that i will fix this tomorrow. tomorrow i will wake up early and actually get out of bed and print out my resume and give it out. but i don't. my parents are dissapointed in me. i think. maybe i just can't tell. i feel useless. i haven't been eating much recently because i can't cook much anymore. i can't brush my hair unless someone is watching. i feel useless. there are things i can do these things are: i. schoolwork ii. computer projects (including this website) iii. sometimes, draw iv. clean. in particular, i can do the dishes. so i like to do the dishes. because i can do them. a few years ago i would cut. i don't know why i did this but i'm certain that part of it was that this was a thing i could do. so it is better that i can now do the dishes. i'm happy to do them. and other people are happy when i do them. and i feel a little less useless.